Today, Michal* is a cheerful little Israeli girl who is enjoying her childhood and easily shows love and affection towards other children. However, the journey to reach this happy state has been a tough and bumpy road. At only four years old, little Michal was diagnosed with cancer. Her mother Tova* bore the strain of frequent hospital visits while her father found solace in drinking with his friends. Severe problems arose in her parent’s marriage, leading to their divorce.

Tova was left severely distraught by the divorce, and viewed Michal’s cancer diagnosis as the root cause of her husband’s drinking problems and their failed marriage. As Michal got better, Tova began to blame Michal for her father leaving them alone and consistently fed her this tale. Michal felt so guilty and tried to do everything to please her mother; forcing herself to behave like an adult, taking on the responsibility of cleaning the house and putting away the toys that she and her younger brother played with, caring for her little brother at the day care. But no matter how hard she tried, the bond between mother and daughter was simply non-existent, and she could not win any of her mother’s affection. There were no kisses and hugs given in her direction, and instead other children received Tova’s affections.

Tova and Michal started attending therapy sessions. When it came time for group interaction between parent and child, Tova would do her best to avoid being alone with her own daughter, often looking to help other children and leaving Michal to complete tasks on her own.

Tova and her daughter went through several years of both group and individual therapy, and an Israeli social worker came alongside Tova to help her deal with the trauma of her divorce. As she healed, she understood that the divorce was not Michal’s fault. At the same time, the social worker began working with Michal to restore her childhood, help her regain self-confidence and receive the love of her mother again.

The ICEJ is committed to restoring and strengthening broken Israeli families, one of the main aims of our “Giving a Future and Hope” campaign. This initiative seeks to mend shattered families, lift up youngsters who have grown up in difficult circumstances, and find direction for the unemployed and unskilled in need of a fresh start. For them, we want to be the extended helping hands of Christians from around the world who care about Israelis in need.

The coronavirus crisis brought a significant increase in domestic violence and abuse in Israeli families already suffering under economic stress, and depression has increased in many vulnerable families here. In addition to this very challenging health crisis, many Israelis also are still trying to recover from this year’s rocket war with Hamas in Gaza!

For Genet*, it felt like her world was crumbling. She struggled with her parental authority and could not give the most basic instructions to her children, resulting in them doing as they pleased. Every Sunday, Genet attended group therapy with a social worker and other mothers, but she never opened up much about her own situation, and instead she sat quietly, just listening.

After two years, she finally informed her social worker that for a few years already she had been suffering from verbal abuse and violence at home from her husband. Genet was extremely fearful and dealing with many challenges. She admitted to being ashamed to share about her ordeal and even asked her children to keep what was happening in the home a secret.

Finally, she found the courage to break her silence and, together with the help of her social worker, she filed a complaint with the police against her husband. For an Ethiopian Jewish woman, this was exceedingly difficult to do as there was a huge risk to her and her children.

After three months, Genet’s divorce was finalized and she found new employment allowing her to provide for her children and pay rental for their apartment.

Still attending therapy regularly, today Genet has blossomed into a stronger woman who is able to stand up for herself and when needed, is able to show her authority towards her children.

As the ICEJ works together with Israeli social workers, our help also extends to therapeutic centers like the ones Tova, Michal and Genet have found themselves in. These centers often are dealing with children exposed to neglect, physical and verbal abuse, sexual violence, and other traumas.

At the therapy centers, children arrive after school, enjoy a hot meal, and interact socially by playing together. They receive assistance with their homework, and get self-empowering counseling with professional staff, including social workers and child psychologists and therapists.

The professional staff engage in every aspect of the families’ lives, from daily routines to continuous dialogue with schools. Other community services are offered as well, such as the welfare office, marriage counselling, domestic violence centers and even house calls. The families receive tools to help them go from dysfunction to health and stability. Thanks to the wonderful giving of Christian donors in Finland, the children playing outside one therapeutic center are now also protected from the hot sun by a beautiful playground shade cover.

You, too, can help us to continue this important work of mending Israeli families. Please consider a gift towards our ‘Giving a Future and Hope’ campaign.
 

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[*Names changed to protect privacy.]

Parenting is a blessing; however, it also comes with challenges best shouldered by two. Unfortunately, in Israel today, 12.8% of families (about 170,000 in all) are single parent households and a staggering 90% of these are headed by women with a lower earning capacity than men. This means many single parent families face a constant battle of living on or below the poverty line.

The corona crisis has exposed just how vulnerable single mothers truly are, and suitable assistance is not always available for them. In Hebrew it is said, “they fall between the chairs” … which is why we are focused on strengthening these families.

Some started out as young mothers with no opportunity to study and learn a profession. Often, they lack support or a good family example, and many even need to overcome trauma or destructive family patterns. In many ways they were still children themselves, and thus need encouragement and guidance to raise their own children.

Or, what if a mother decided to take a gigantic leap of faith and move to a new country with a vastly different language and culture? The challenges of adjusting to a new setting, learning the language, finding employment, or deciding on a school for the children – all without a ready support system – adds a whole new level of stress to single parenting.

At the ICEJ, we have been asking: How can we be a type of “extended” family for struggling young Israeli mothers and their children? The answer is by providing the basics, such as assistance towards career counselling and job training, or sponsoring professional mentors who give the practical and emotional support that can build self-confidence.

Many also require help with subsidized daycare, babysitters, afterschool activities, private tutors for the children, and other essentials like basic home furnishings and repairs. Being ashamed of your living conditions only adds to the single mother’s feelings of isolation and despair. So, ICEJ donors recently enabled one such mother to have a brand new kitchen. The before and after images are stunning, and now she and her children have their dignity restored. 

Can you imagine having to wash for years using water from a toilet tank? This is how an elderly grandmother, her single-parent daughter and grandson had to bathe, as they had no running water to shower. For four years, they diverted water from the toilet tank and crouched in the bathtub to wash, which was extremely difficult for the grandmother to do. Your giving enabled a repair team to renovate the bathroom, restore the water connection, and install an easily accessible shower!

“In general, the women assisted are between the ages of 16 to 50”, explained noted Nicole Yoder, ICEJ Vice President for Aid and Aliyah. “Many come from abusive backgrounds with no support system. Others are simply on their own due to divorce or early widowhood. They may lack education or basic life skills which make entering the workforce extremely challenging. Learning to parent is tough. Many young parents do not know how to set healthy boundaries, and its heartbreaking when the parent-child bond is not properly developed. If not dealt with, this can be the fertile source of a woundedness that gets passed on to the next generation.”

*Alena is a widowed single mother with five children. She is extremely tired after nursing her ill husband for many years, and then she was laid off work during Israel’s strict corona lockdowns over the past year. Alena is currently being helped to improve her self-confidence and prepare for job interviews.

*Leah came looking for help as a very broken divorced woman who had endured physical violence and the trauma of witnessing her own parent commit suicide in front of her. She was so desperate to provide food for her two children that she fell into prostitution for a time. By obtaining the help she needed, Leah has managed to lift herself up. Today, she works as a graphic designer and is trying to be a good role model for her children.

“These days of the coronavirus crisis are extremely difficult and a personalized focus on the aid needed can be the turning point for women like Alena and Leah and many others”, said Nicole. “They and their children can begin their journey of building a brighter future and we want to be part of making it possible.”

Through our ‘Giving a Future and a Hope’ fund, the ICEJ is committed to helping these vulnerable and often broken single mothers. Their needs vary, however, and the assistance ranges from $1,500-$3,500 per mother – though a gift in any amount would be a blessing. Each one has their own story, and each one has a God-given destiny. Please join us in our efforts to strengthen Israeli families and help them find a brighter future. Your donation makes a significant impact on the lives of those who need it most.   

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*Names are changed to protect their privacy.

It is a weekly routine which began seven years ago. ICEJ Homecare nurse Corrie van Maanen visits 96-year-old Zachar, a widower after 60 years of marriage. She brings a small contribution of groceries to his meagre pantry, for which he is grateful. But the visit is more important. It means a cup of tea and a listening ear. And not just any cup, but one with blue dots. On her very first visit arranged by an Israeli social worker, he said, “This is ‘your’ cup because I hope you will come many more times.” It is Corrie’s cup, and although he can no longer see, Zachar always asks if she has it. On this visit, Corrie has brought a postcard from a Homecare supporter touched by the stories of elderly Jewish immigrants bound to their homes by health issues or lockdowns.

Corrie translates the words into Russian: “We are thinking of you and praying for you; may you find joy and strength in this difficult time.” He takes the card and traces the outline of glued dots that form two birds. “Swallows!” Zachar exclaims. “Those are beautiful birds, they come when it gets warmer. In Russia it is even used as expression of love: 'You are my beautiful swallow.' Too bad I can't see them.” But his fingers can, as they again trace over the card. Then he suddenly begins a story.

“When I was little, five or six years old, there was an old man in the village where I lived”, Zachar recalls. “He always sat on the bench in front of his house. He was blind from birth. His head rested on his arm as in the artwork of Auguste Rodin.” Zachar demonstrates the pose, his hand propping up his head. “He always told us stories, which he had heard from others. We enjoyed listening to his stories together with boys from the neighborhood.” There is silence for a moment, as Zachar searches his memories. Then he continues: “In 1941 he was the first to be beaten to death before our eyes. He was a Jew.”

Zachar saw a lot of death after that. He fled a mass shooting and later escaped from a concentration camp where only 1,200 out of 11,000 Jews survived amid the horrific, crowded conditions. But the story he had kept in his heart came out and was given wings to fly. Someone was listening and someone cared. His heart was a little lighter. Zachar returns to his card and tenderly rests his hand on it. “I would like to thank them myself, but will you do it on my behalf?” he asks. “The card gives me joy.”

Your support for ICEJ Homecare brings joy and comfort to many like Zachar. Thank you for partnering with us. 

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Who will care for the vulnerable little ones?

When the Christian Embassy learned about the huge need of orphaned children in Israel, there was no turning a blind eye. Instead, steps were immediately taken to see how we can help meet the needs of youngsters suffering abuse and neglect who are referred to children’s homes.

“The orphaned or virtually orphaned children living in therapeutic Family Group Homes represent the most vulnerable children. These children are classified as orphans, if they have no living parent, or if they have no other feasible biological support system, even if they have one living parent”, explained Nicole Yoder, ICEJ Vice President of AID and Aliyah.

A Family Group Home is a haven for children when neglect and abuse dominate their little world by the very people who they are supposed to trust. The love and care these helpless children begin to receive from their new house mothers is immeasurable. However, extras are needed to help the children flourish.

“In Israel, in addition to each child’s normal living expenses in a home, only 12% of costs to provide the extra items for the children are covered by the state. These extra items include such essentials as personal hygiene products, educational supplies, clothing, and equipment for extracurricular activities and everyday living. This is where the ICEJ, together with support from our faithful donors, can really make an impact in each vulnerable orphaned child’s life”, stated Nicole.

At the tender age of 8-years-old *Tzofia was rescued from her dire situation and placed in a therapeutic Family Group Home with 10 other children. She has never met her father and watched as her mother fell into the downward spiral of an opioid addiction. With Israeli schools being closed during the Covid pandemic and her mother’s addiction growing worse, Tzofia was left to fend and care for herself, away from any witnesses to her home situation.

One day she visited her local neighborhood market with noticeable burns on her forearm. She revealed that she was boiling water to cook spaghetti for herself, as she had not seen her mother for two full days. This sounded alarm bells and Tzofia was immediately taken to an emergency shelter and from there referred to a children’s home. She is now receiving the emotional care that she deserves, and her basic material needs are being met.

Meanwhile, 9-year-old *Rinat also has never met her father and came to the children’s home after enduring years of neglect from her mother, who is suffering from mental health issues. Sadly, her mother does not want any contact with her.

When Rinat arrived at the home, her only comfort was her dirty clothes which she wore for several days, without bathing. She was not comfortable with washing her clothes at all. The house mother discovered that the little clothing Rinat possessed was stained, had holes, and were two sizes too small! Looking at the budget, the house mother took Rinat shopping and advised how much they could spend on new clothes for her. Happily, her house mother assisted with picking out clothes appropriate for Rinat’s age. However, once back at the home, Rinat again did not want anyone to wash her clothes, for fear that they would be damaged or stolen. Thankfully, with consistent reassurance, Rinat began allowing her garments to be washed. Rinat has settled nicely and her whole demeanor has improved.

It is so essential that these orphaned and ‘virtually orphaned’ children do not suffer further rejection by not having the correct educational supplies or extramural equipment, clothing, and footwear, or feel left out when other children receive gifts from extended family members.

Please consider supporting the ICEJ’s giving ‘a Future and a Hope’ campaign. The cost for supporting each child is approximately $650 (USD) per year, depending on their needs. However, any amount that you choose to give enables us to care for these most vulnerable and broken children, by ensuring they have everything they need as if they were part of a warm caring family environment.
 

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* Names have been changed to protect privacy.